My name is Alon and I’m an addict

I’ve never considered myself an addictive person. I mean, it was always difficult for me to give up my hobbies, but that aside, I've never seen myself as a person who can’t control having or not having a certain thing.

I’ve always looked at addicts from the side, and was never dependent on the influence of a certain substance that wasn't white sugar, flour or coffee. But that was before that last big trip, and the modern age pandemic.

Wild and free in India

A few years back, I went for a 45 day trip in south India. Surrounded by beaches, nature and new people from around the world, I rediscovered the beauty of disconnection. A bit wild but mostly free, I could do anything I wanted, no strings attached, obligations, deadlines or a strict plan to follow. There, I understood again, how bad it is to be addicted to my smartphone.

A while after I returned home, to the world's biggest crisis of the century. I found myself captivated by an addiction that’s taking away my attention, energy and focus while drying out my eyes.

I keep on falling

It’s not like I wasn’t aware of my condition before. I had read about smartphone addiction, attended lectures warning about it, and even saw my girlfriend struggling with it herself. But the combination of the trip and returning to covid times changed everything, and I found myself diving in with my eyes open.

I guess the lack of the previous well known and supervised routine, made it easy for me to fall back into old patterns. With no strict self discipline, I free fell to this stupid habit.

I found myself checking messages constantly, refreshing my email hoping for new “urgent” emails to arrive, and updating the latest in Zuckerberg’s machine.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a cigarette addict, letting an unnecessary bad habit consume my time, energy and focus on a daily basis.

Chitty Shitty Chit Chat

The worst of all is the shitty WhatsApp.

Every time I’m a bit bored, while searching on my phone or whenever I haven’t touched it in a while, I feel the urge to check what’s up there.

It doesn’t end there. I won't settle for just checking my messages. No, not me - I’ve become a “WhatsApp writer”. Yes, I’m the one who initiates conversations, feeds groups and shares unnecessary shit-chat.

I’ve become a person who wastes his precious time writing jokes, pokes, and manages relationships using the app, convinced it is a platform that helps me create content freely and more frequently. A place where I can write spontaneously, with less hesitation and more confidence to express myself to an audience.

The outcome? A few jokes I’ll never remember, topics that don't matter, no insights, nor improvements of any relationship.

I’m simply wasting time, focus and energy on nothing that matters, without having a true value or impact on my life, like a true unproductive addict who can’t stop.

So, as a first step in my rehab program, I have decided to call the addiction by it’s name, and set myself free from my beloved-hateful phone.

See you only when I really need you.